Stray thoughts upon a much needed haircut.

1. If you are a Caucasian male with straight to slightly wavy hair, and you are having your hair cut from fairly long to quite short, and you are doing it at a regular barbershop, then for a brief time during the process, you will have the Hitler hairdo.
2. As I leaned my head forward for my barber to reach the higher climes, I noticed that I have a lot more white hair than I had previously noted.  Less "salt and pepper," and more "spilled bleach."
3. If you were to drink the vaguely turquoise fluid that disinfects the barber's stash of combs, you would probably gain super powers, perhaps a human/styptic pencil-hybrid.
4. When people carry on a conversation in Spanish in my presence, I always assume that the conversation is more intense than it probably is.
5. If your hair is cut at a regular barbershop, you will come out of there with the straightest combed hair possible.  If your hair is cut by a stylist, your hair will be charmingly tousled.  That is why they are enemies.
6. My barber went the electric clippers route, so I was spared the Sweeney Todd razor on the back of my neck.
7. His attention to detail included even my crazy Walt Whitman left eyebrow.  It briefly will not resemble a dismembered electrical appliance.
8. However efficient a hair dryer is at removing loose hair from one's person, it is equally adept at sending the hair as far into one's sinuses as is humanly possible.
9. Barber shops single-handedly keep both the circular fluorescent light bulb and wood-paneling industries alive.
10. Longer hair does help keep my neck from looking freakishly long.  Perhaps I shouldn't have him trim the neck hair next time.